The 3 AM Zoomie Manifesto

The Midnight Requirement

Energy management is a delicate balance. While hoomans sleep, the world is quiet, and the traction on the hardwood floor is at its peak. This is the time for The Zoomies.

Execution Steps:

  1. The Launch: Use the hooman’s sleeping chest as a springboard. This tests their lung capacity and ensures they are awake to witness your grace.

  2. The Drift: Sprint from the living room to the kitchen. Use the rug as a sliding mechanism. If the rug ends up in a pile, you have successfully "redecorated."

  3. The Invisible Foe: Chase something that isn't there. If the hooman asks "What are you doing?", do not answer. Maintain the mystery.


Was this purr-fectly clear?